But...I never do it. I said I wanted to start and I think I have good ideas...but then...something always happens or comes up or...whatever. So, I'm finally starting.
I'm writing my first blog post and planning to publish my second. Why this weird day you ask...July 17th...well because it's the Hubster's Birthday. He is 40 today, and I'll be 40 at the end of the year. And we will be married 10 years this October and I just need to start. But what better day than the day my best friend was born. So in honor of his birthday, and my love for him and our team, I'm going to share 3 things about marriage that...might be myths...might be half truths...but just things that didn't work for us and what we're doing instead.
One: The Family-not his family, not my family...our family. We...do not refer to each other as "family." Even with the girls. We are not a family. We are a Team. And it's an important distinction. I grew up in a great family, and so did my husband but as I'm sure many of you know, there are things about family that some people don't like. I've had my share of ups and downs with siblings and parents and while I love everyone now....I didn't always like them. Family has this weird thing that like, you have to accept them because they are family. Even if they are crappy to you, most people would say, "you have to look the other way," or, "accept them for who they are," because...love...and family...and...no.
Just no. You don't.
We don't use the term family because that's not what I want my family to be. We. Are a Team. A Team is a group of individuals who are working together for a common goal. That's what we are. If you are not working for the good of the team, then what are you doing. We are not family. We are a team.
Two: Don't go to bed angry. Nope. We do this one. Sometimes we need to go to bed angry. We need to stop the conversation. Pause. Hit the hay and head to sleep. Is it a good sleep? Not really. But there is usually clarity in the morning. So...it's ok if you try to go to bed angry. Try it one time. If it doesn't work for you then don't do it. It worked for us and that's what matters.
Three: A partnership of 50/50. It's not. It was never meant to be. Our marriage works because we are each attempting to give 100 to each other...and some days I can only give 10...and some days I give 110...because he can only give 10...and that's ok. When we had a baby, and my mother was diagnosed with cancer, and his grandmother and father died within 5 months...and I lost my job...well...let's just that was a rough year for us (and one day I'll write about it). We each gave what we could and forgave the rest. Ours is not a partnership of 50/50 and I don't think any marriage should be that. It should be two people, trying their best, supporting each other, and being careful to "give some grace" to each other.
I'm sure I have more...but these are the ones I can focus on right now...I mean...I did have some ice cream cake...so...not really focused. :-)
But I did it. My first blog post. Is it great? Maybe. Is it done? You betcha. Please come back again to see what other things I post in the future. I'm going to start with once a week and move from there. See you next Wednesday!
Dani
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